The Brown Connection

A friend of mine with brown skin asked me to research the subject of The Brown Connection. Curious, I decided to take him up on the idea. Until I met him, I had never heard off this mystical alliance but he assured me it is real. I had no idea what I was about to learn.

According to him, The Brown Connection is a type of telepathy that individuals with brown skin possess. As he describes it, he can look at another person with brown skin and immediately know what he or she is thinking and vice versa. They don’t necessarily have to see each other to communicate, either. My friend indicated that brown people can

The Brown Connection

communicate over vast distances, from a simple mental conversation with someone across the street to an exchange with a brown-skinned person on the other side of the globe. In the face of this revelation, I suddenly found myself on uncertain ground. The ramifications of the reality of something like The Brown Connection existing are monumental.

I tried researching it, and by that I mean I typed “The Brown Connection” into Google. Unfortunately, nothing relevant came back. I had the same empty result when I looked on Wikipedia. In an attempt to gain some knowledge, I’ve discussed the topic with other individuals with brown skin and while they have universally confirmed The Brown Connection’s existence, they are suspiciously vague about details.

I was left with no other option but to assume then that my friend and all others of the brown-skinned community possess skills of the mind well beyond that of the average Caucasian person. Due to what appears to be a united effort to prevent me from learning more about The Brown Connection, I am forced to assume the worst. Brown people are going to take over the world.

Don’t scoff at the notion. If brown people are capable of telepathic thought then I shudder to think of what else are they may be capable of. Are psychokinetic abilities (the ability to move things with one’s mind) something else that they harboring? What about the ability to create and manipulate fire, otherwise known as pyrokinesis? When I’m in his proximity, I do feel some trepidation that my brown-skinned friend may start throwing fireballs around. Also, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him use a match or lighter to light his cigarettes…

In the face of all of this, I was forced to ask myself the question of why did my friend tell

The face of fear.

me about the secret of The Brown Connection? Is he turning traitor? Or perhaps I am being drawn into a scheme to utilize my blog to engage in fear campaigns to make light-skinned citizens too afraid to resist when the inevitable brown revolution begins. One of the most concerning question that I keep coming back to is why haven’t brown people used their powers  in the presence of their Caucasian brothers and sisters?

With no hard evidence, I decided to rely on my intuition. I believe that is probable that brown people have simply been storing up their mental power, creating a reserve of telepathic strength, and lulling us into a false sense of security and complacency. With that in mind, there should be little doubt that soon brown people will cast aside their shrouds of deception and reveal their true selves as the telepathic usurpers that they are.

Hopefully, my warning has not come to late. Several times over the past week I have seen people with brown skin, once while I was at the mall and a day later when I stopped in at the gym to renew my membership. Even yesterday, while purchasing a bottle of water, I observed a brown-skinned man at a nearby cash register. They seem to be everywhere. I fear that brown people have come to recognize that I know too much and therefore, my time is limited. I fear I am being paranoid.

All I can do is suggest that we do not resist when the time comes. We must capitulate fully with Beyonce’s demands and perhaps the new brown overlords of this planet will take mercy on us.

All hail Beyonce!

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